I live in the tropics, where Autumn does not mark the transition from summer to winter. Days do not get shorter (at least not in any noticeable way). Temperatures do not start dropping (1 degree Celsius does not count). The ground is not covered in a multi-colored blanket of leaves. Yet, even in the tropics, November signals a kind of release - the final deluge before the dry season begins.
As the leaves change color and drop from the trees in the northern hemisphere, I find myself wondering what can I let go of? What will I release? What can I put down?
Okay, technically, Costa Rica is in the northern hemisphere, but climate is a complex thing – so I could say: “As the clouds wring out their last drops of rain…” Either way, you get the picture.
My inbox is a constant distraction and is cluttered with mindfulness reminders (the irony is not lost on me). My writing community at Centered is tackling reflective questions around Trust. My writing friends at The Forever Writer’s Club are working through mindfulness exercises around the idea of Letting Go.
Yet the more I dig into this theme of transition, the more I realize that I am the opposite of mindful at this time of year. Instead, I am anxious as I ruminate over what I haven’t yet accomplished this year. And it’s nearly December!
(Which, of course, ignores everything I have done this year… but the brain is wired for negativity… and despite the constant mindfulness reminders, I am struggling with my own worst critic at the moment.)
I’d like to claim that I’ve achieved some higher level of self-acceptance as we head into November, but that would be a lie.
Instead, I am:
Hyper-aware of all I haven’t done yet;
Feeling guilty that all I really want to do for the holidays is find a dark closet under a staircase, curl into a ball and hibernate for three months. (I know this is oddly specific, but I find small spaces comforting – so don’t judge me);
Already planning to-do lists for next year. (I’m a Virgo, again… don’t judge me);
Taking on more responsibilities (because apparently, I am only comfortable with chaos and I’m a Virgo.)
I’ve realized that my days are overrun by doing - most likely in an attempt to avoid self-reflection altogether. When I sat down to write today’s post (gleefully striking a line through an item on my to-do list), I found myself with no writing advice to give.
After all, it’s hard to give writing advice from the back of a closet with a glass of wine in hand (again, don’t judge me.)
Instead, I’ve been sitting here for the last hour noticing. Noticing a lot of planning. Noticing a good amount of judging. Noticing a bit of relief in just sitting with my thoughts for a moment. Noticing that my ceiling fan could use a good dusting.
So, I’m skipping the writing advice for now and I invite you to join me in my reflection for the month as I try to transition to a healthier state of mind and figure out what I will let go of:
What thoughts do you notice as you think about your writing life? Perhaps there is a belief about who you are as a writer running in the background? (Thank you, Sarah Selecky, for inspiring this reflection.)
Which thoughts and beliefs are serving you, and which ones are you in the process of letting go of? (Thank you, Chelene Knight for inspiring this reflection.)
What would it be like if you made time to observe your thoughts without judgment, like the leaves falling one by one (or the clouds disappearing one raindrop at a time)?
And my challenge for the month:
Find moments throughout the day to put down what you are carrying and allow yourself to be in a moment that matters instead of in a past that you cannot change or a future that is unknowable.
Finally, if you are like me and feeling overwhelmed this month, I invite you to try the following practice with me:
Pause for a few seconds. Look up from your screen and take a few deep breaths…
Notice the sensations in your body where you are in contact with your chair or whatever is supporting you…
Can you notice where in your body things actually feel ‘easeful’, or even just okay or not awful? …
Can you make any adjustments, like letting your shoulders relax, or unclenching your jaw or unfurrowing your brow, that create just 5% more spaciousness and ease in your body…
Take a few moments to resource yourself.
AND
Check out what Alexandria Peary has to say about writing and mindfulness in her TedX Talk “How mindfulness can transform the way we write.”
Happy writing!